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Rihanna: Drunken Queen of Barbados


Rihanna
Here’s Rihanna celebrating Kadooment Day by getting epically shit-hammered drunk and dry butt-humping all of Barbados. And just to emphasize how “right up our alley” – *jiggles tie* – these pics are, if Batman was standing in the background giving Rihanna the thumbs up, I’d fight to the death anyone who tried to say I didn’t make these happen with my mind. MY PSYCHIC BUTT POWERS ARE MANY.
While most of us woke up and went to work this morning, Rihanna got up, slid into this a pile of ruby fishnets and started downing rum out of a cup she found lying next to a chicken coop. From there, it was only another a matter of more rum until she thought simulating doggy style sex on a parade float would be an awesome idea. And when isn’t it? Anyway, all this is to celebrate Kadooment Day in Barbados which I’m just going to assume is some sort of ritual to declare a new queen of da island. Later, a bunch of nerds will use “Google” and tell me it’s about the sugar cane harvest then question how I even got this job. Which, funny enough, also involved rum, fishnets and this. Whatever this is.
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